Here’s a new theory developed at the Church of Stop Shopping School of Divinity: There is a direct relationship between each additional minute that we are separated and every pound of greenhouse gas that is added to the air.
What? Yes: The greater the distance that individual human beings are from one another, the more CO2 we put in the air, water and soil.
Let me say it another way: SPLIT US APART—WE KILL. (Very lonely people make very big tornadoes.)
The Earth is in me and the Earth is in you and when we look into each others’ eyes and whisper something stupid, the Earth wants to re-unite. And then we aren’t violent. See how that works?
Recently, Rajendra Pachauri, of the International Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), solemnly addressed the United Nations General Assembly and intoned, “People come on! What the Hell? How about a hug. Start flirting! Do we need a dating service for this?”
It’s not just that we’re social animals. When we are anti-social – we are downright deadly. And that’s what’s happening! 8 Billion people have fallen out of Love. Billionaires, fundamentalist religion, and strongmen – they manufacture things like 1000 mile wide hurricanes, and that drives us apart. Big Money increases the distance between us. Big money demands our tragic loneliness.
But the Earth offers us spring flowers and smiles and the miraculous sensation of touch. Love-a-lujah! That’s what the ambassadors at the UN did, they began necking right there in the great hall, and now the phrase “United Nations” shines with a new meaning.
World Peace! It finally happened!
Rev. Billy